Thursday, June 07, 2007

If only I could type with a lisp... San Francisco.

Cable cars, Rice-A-Roni, "Full House", China Town, gay people, these are just SOME of the things that come to mind when someone says San Francisco!

And that's where I am, for now. My great aunt Katie passed away on the 18th, and so Mom and I came on out here to take care of things(clear out her apartment, and the like). It's a little strange... I mean, I never KNEW her, but here I am going through her whole life. Based on what Ma and I have found, I don't think we've even begun to scratch the surface.

You can tell a lot, if not everything, about a person by their memories. That's why when a couple starts dating, one of the first things they do together is go through old pictures. Aunt Katie has none. At least, not that WE'VE found. No framed photos, no albums... nothing. At some point I have to wonder if she actually got rid of them, as opposed to simply not taking any. In restrospect, I don't think we've come across a camera either, however. I think if I've taken anything from this, it's that I'd like to get to know my extended family a little better.

As for San Fran...

I hate the city. Not this city in particular, I just could never live in a city. First of all, I decided I was more comfortable in Rome. I think more people spoke English there. Of course, the language barrier WAS nice in Rome when someone would approach me trying to sell something, and I could play the "I don't speak that s***" card and just ignore them. Here... well, I still ignore them, but they know I understand them.

Oh man. So, Mom and I are on the bus yesterday, when suddenly some guy a couple rows ahead of us stand up, angrily punches in a number into his phone, and starts yelling into his phone about how (the fellow he's yelling at) is going to death row, and how he's going to testify in court, if necessary, and blah blah blah. This wouldn't have been so funny if he hadn't been yelling with a lisp. I mean, this guy was going OFF. And all five of us sitting in the back of the bus were struggling SO HARD to keep a straight face.

Most of us were failing.

Especially when he came out with "And ME, a gay male, who thought he could have pride in San Francisco..."
So finally, he hung up, and started speaking out loud to himself about how it was "sick", and that he "never thought he'd have to play the gay card", and so forth. Eventually he quieted down. So, as the back of the bus fell into an awkward silence, Mom pipes up with, in a fairly audible voice, "Hmm... maybe I can start something by making a crack about taking my aunt out for lunch." while holding up the cremated remains of her recently deceased Aunt Katie. Now, mortality is only a laughing matter in certain, delicate situations...

But timing is everything.

The five of us who WERE holding it in just let loose. It was pretty hysterical. Finally, we are approaching a stop, and Captain Subtle stands up to leave. Upon seeing this, the lady sitting next to me started dancing openly. Then, her eyes widened, and she turned to her friend.
"Isn't this our stop?"
"Umm... yup!"

The poor lady collapsed in the seat. She was OK, though... as she was standing, I told her "God go with you". She appreciated it. :)

Man. I could never be P.C. It's not enough fun.

Go easy on the Crisco, I'll see yuh in 'Frisco.
--Hich

3 Comments:

Anonymous gf said...

Hmmm...you never (willingly, if ever) went through old pictures with me when we started dating. ;)

2:41 PM  
Blogger Scarcely Human said...

That's because A) I knew better, and B) There was no family around to force it on you, despite my objections. Meanwhile, I've seen a number of old pictures AND videos of Young Leah.

You RUINED my CAKE!!!

1:33 AM  
Anonymous gf said...

Grrrr....you will pay....

7:15 AM  

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