Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Confusing Analogies

With my first A+ certification test quickly approaching and absolutely no interest in the current class, I've decided to share with you my way of memorizing what some of these things are.

Proxy Server - Patron Saint. A proxy server sits between your computer and the internet, and forwards your requests for you, doing some of the leg work and organizing the communication. Similarly, a Patron Saint is an expert in the topic you're praying for, and acts as an intermediary between you and God, forwarding your requests and filtering out the nonsense. Yes, in this analogy, God is the internet. Try to keep up.

UPS - Uninteruptable Power Supply. This is essentially a battery backup for your computer so you can save your progress if the power goes out. How do you remember this? Simple: What can Brownout do for you?

POST - Power-On Self-Test. This is the first thing the computer does when it turns on - tests to make sure all the hardware is properly connected. That's the first "beep" you hear when you turn the computer on. So, how could something called "POST" be the FIRST thing the happened? Because computer techs do everything ass-backwards.

HAL.DLL - System file driver that provides the interface between the system hardware and the software. This probably won't actually be on the test, but it makes me laugh anyway.
"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."
Fear your computer.

Ok, moving on.

I forgot to check my last post to see where I was when we left off, so I'll just kinda go for it. I hate my job. I've been yelled at for dancing and singing while I work because they think it makes me lose focus and slows me down. In reality? Dancing around and acting crazy at work makes me a better employee. If I were to really focus on what I do for a living, I'd start bringing an AK-47 to work and just light the place up. Honestly, I'd just get stressed out, and I REALLY lose focus when I realize how much I hate what I'm doing.

If I can just pause for a moment, I think my teacher just passed out weed-brownies. That... was weird.

Uhh... Wow, I just completely lost focus(no, I didn't eat one). Oh, right, certification test. I'm not positive on how it'll go, but I decided to sign up for my test. I'm taknig it tomorrow, for better or worse. If I pass, swell. If I don't pass, at least I'll know what I'm dealing with.

I'm being hit up for homework... Though I'm pretty sure he'd give me full marks whether I turn it in or not, I should at least pretend to do something with the 15k I just blew on this place.
Aaaand he's teaching us L33T. I really have to go.


Thursday, January 07, 2010

This one hurts.

And when he reaches for a cold one, he prefers Red Dog.

Goin' home tomorrow! WOOO!!!

See you at the aftermath. Peace!

...But, not LITERALLY...


Monday, January 04, 2010

A day off.

So, Leah's going to kill me when she realizes that, instead of studying for A+/cleaning my room/doing useful things, I finally decided to update my blog. But then, SHE'S wasting time READING my blog instead of something useful SHE could be doing! So, there!

Hi, sweetie.

Moving along... Uhh... I keep resolving to post more regularly, but then it just builds up so much that I end up dreading having to do it. Weirdly, it's kinda like confession in that regard... A lot easier to do if it's done regularly. I'll give you a quick rundown.


Leah and I got engaged!

I bought a new car!

Holy crap, that looks painful!!!

I'll save you the tedious details of all of these things (Yes, she said "yes." Well, actually, TECHNICALLY, she didn't say "yes"... details at your request). Oh, also, remember my laptop fixing post from a few months back? Yeah, I ordered the piece I needed and fixed it. So, that's cool. The 2009 regular season is officially over, and with it, the Miami Dolphins' season. It wasn't a terrible year, but I did have particularly high hopes.

But hey, keep the faith!

Oh, I now link Leah's dad's blog here, so be sure to check it out. Hey, they say keep your friends close, and your enemies closer, right? Well I say: "Link your future father-in-law's blog on your blog". Catchy, right?

Moving along... I hope to deliver my last pizza ever soon. This month, if possible. I can finally study for my certification, and if I get it, my teacher from last class said he has a potential job opportunity lined up, which would be pretty epic since, y'know, I have a wedding to pay for later this year. First thing's first, though. Gotta get certified.

So, this "wedding" thing... THAT'S pretty weird. Exciting, don't get me wrong! But, weird. I still don't think of myself as old enough for such a thing.
"But Joe, you moved out of your parents' house!"
Yeah, into my girlfriend/fiancee's parents' house...
"But you bought a new car!"
Yeah, but I have yet to make a payment on it...
"But you're working on your career!"
Yeah, but I DO still deliver pizzas, as it is...
"Stop whining!"
Nice argument.

Oh, so, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Woo!! 2010!! Woo! Yeah!! ...Alright! ...Yay...


Oh yeah, I also had a birthday. And IN that birthday, Leah's Parents gave me tickets to GO HOME!!! (In a much nicer way than that sounded). But yeah, Leah and I are flying (together on a plane, at last!) back to VA on the 8th and coming back on the 10th. I'm pretty wicked-excited about it... Can't believe I haven't seen my family in... 8 months? Man... All the nieces and nephews are gonna be all different. I can't wait!!!

Just watch, I'll get home and Mike'll be half-bald, D will have a mullet and a beer gut, A-Jay and Marjorie will be splitting shifts at "Hooters"...

Stop me if I'm close, guys.

Ok, my mind is blanking. I'll try to keep you guys updated on the goings on, but then, I've made that promise before, so don't hold your breath.