Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween!!!

Welcome, one and all, to Hich's House of Frights! Please don't mind the skeletons, they don't really need anything from you. Now, everyone have their masks on? Right, this way, please, and watch your step!

Your minds now belong to us...

It's that special time of year, my friends, when children don costumes to delight and amaze, teenagers vandalize and party, and adults scare and terrify (and often, drink)! Yes indeed, it's hard not to like Halloween. To be sure, it's one of my favorite holidays! Sadly, I have more than ghosts 'n ghouls to fear this year...

I have Marshner.

Why would he do this to us, assign a test/quiz on Halloween night? Well, perhaps party city was out of silly string. Either that, or he's just a cynic with nothing better to do. Either way, it's a way for him to get a cheap laugh.

Ha ha, Dr. Marshner.

But I won't let it drag ME down. And why not? Because once that test is OVER, the freaks come out at night! I might be starting the party a little late, but party I shall. Thus far, there is only one concern, and it is costume-related. But that's a post I'll save for later.

It's truly amazing I'm in the Halloween spirit at all, considering. I mean, I look around and I see neither black nor orange (except on my Miami Dolphins coat). There are a couple of feeble pumpkins in front of the student center, but not carved. So, I took it upon myself. I carved my OWN pumpkin, and supported the Commonwealth at the same time!! Observe:

You start by lobotomizing Mr. Jack(Ugh, no anesthetic even!):
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Remove his pesky guts (you might save them, if it's THAT kinda Jack-O-Lantern):
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Remember to save the seeds!
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Pick out a kickass design, and apply it to your pumpkin:
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Use a poker and a pen, and transfer the image as best you can onto the pumpkin:
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Now, I employ the shaving method. That way, my picture had three layers as opposed to just two. Here's the first cut:
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And the same for the other side...
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This was the first bit of text I cut out... it was the part I was most worried about, so I was pretty happy with the results:
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With the shaving mostly completed, I had only the actual cut-out parts left to do:
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The completed pumpkin:
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Paul says I should put this in the pumpkin carving contest tonight, in order to "bring glory and honor to the Commonwealth". What do y'all think? Do I have a shot?

Drink lots, scare kids, and have yourselves a damn fine All-Hallows-Eve!!!


Friday, October 26, 2007

American Life League at Holy Cross in Massachusets

I'm sorry... did she just say that just because we're a Catholic College, that doesn't mean we shouldn't commit heresy? Wow. Please, everyone, spread the word about this! If this isn't a threat to Catholicism, I don't know what is!


P.S. New post below.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Plowing forward...

So, senior year continues. It's true that I still must buckle down and write my three papers, but seeing as that's ALL I have to do pretty much for the rest of the semester (not counting a Marshner "quiz"... ugh), I remain diligent.

Diligent... do I know what that means? Huh. Well, it seems appropriate, so I'll keep it in there.

This weekend should be fun. Once I finish with classes on Friday (at 9:30 in the morning... that part of my schedule just makes me so happy), I can go to sleep for a while... play some Wii, or possibly Guitar Hero downstairs. OH!! That reminds me!!

The Commonwealth is expanding! I've decided to drop the idea that Paul is a traitor, because it's just too damn depressing. So, yes. Paul has conquered the downstairs apartment and annexed it in the name of the Commonwealth. We now own the entire left(if you're looking at its front) side of the building. It's beautiful. In addition to that, Behe took advantage of the newfound space and moved downstairs as well. Don't get me wrong, Behe's a good guy, but now our room is a LOT less crowded and, let's face it, it's like Freshman year all over again. Tomorrow, the world...

Where was I? Ah yes, this weekend. Well, I may or may not go to lunch, depending on whether or not Ben and I go to Martins and get some food. If we do, I figure I'll just stick in the apartment, eat food, play games, and all that. Then, around 4ish, we go out and collect our (or, more specifically, Ben's) shiny new 72 inch flat screen TV!!! Ohh, it's going to be truly amazing. Wii golf as it's never been played before, to say the least. Of course, I STILL want to one-up that, and sneak the Wii into the library one night to hook it up to a projector...

But that comes later. For now, I'll just enjoy what we got.

So after that, it's off to Trish and Murphy's (or, more to the point, Trish Murphy's) place for a Halloween party! I don't know if we're supposed to be in costume, but I don't think it's really that big of an issue... after all, it's Trish and Murphy's. They're pretty laid back.

Saturday, I'm homeward bound to go to Justin's wedding, which should also be fun. Also, it'll give me a chance to collect some stuff from home, so... hoo-ray.

Sunday, there's church, football, movie-working-on, and then Marshner study group. We'll see how that goes... I hate study groups because I don't contribute anything to them. But I guess it's better than nothing... after all, it's not like I've done any of the reading. Or participated in class. Or...

Hey, I get to see Leah at the end of this semester!!! And Thanksgiving, but you all knew that. Guess I have to do well this semester, lest she kick my ass. So, yes, I now have a date to Winter Formal... sorry, ladies.

The beginning of next week'll suck... that's going to be gung-ho paper writing, Marshner-studying, and pumpkin carving.


Surely this must be a trick. After all, it sure as hell isn't a treat...

Whatever. What-everrr. WHATEV!!! Moving on!

Well, time for my new segment: the picks.
Last week wasn't a great opening week for me, as I went 5-9 in my picks. But take a closer look ,and I think you'll see I was more on the ball than my 5-9 record makes it appear!
In the Titans-Texans game, I spoke about the Texan's ability to always keep games close, and that they'd win by a small margin. Well, it turns out I was right about the close game, just wrong about the team. 38-36? I think I deserve some credit.
Both the Ravens-Bills and the Lions-Buccaneers games were decided by a touchdown or less.
I said "Redskins in a squeaker", and what happened? They won, 21-19. That oughtta count for double.
I called the Bears-Eagles game a toss-up, and it was decided by a field goal. Next time, I'll employ the "off" mentality, and just not choose either.
The Steelers-Broncos game... man that one makes me mad. I said the Steelers were playing sloppy, but I didn't think it'd be THAT sloppy. Anyway, I called that they aren't playing well, but that they'd win, and they lost by a field goal. Another near miss.
Next Monday night, I'll listen to what every fiber of my being is screaming at me.
As for the Dolphins-Patriots game, well... I said it would be the upset of the century, and after the game, I was VERY UPSET, so... y'know. Not too shabby.

Well, let's forget the past, and focus on the future. You can count on me to get back on track here.


Week 8:
Lions (4-2) at Bears (3-4)
Despite the fact that the Lion's won during their last meeting earlier this season, keep in mind that the 4th quarter started with the Bears on top, 13-3. Wild fourth quarters are what keep the NFL exiting, but you can't count on them. Brian Griese is improving by the week, and there's no way this game is going to the Lions.

Raiders (2-4) at Titans (4-2)
Until the Raider's RBs show some durability, I won't have confidence in them. Lamont Jordan is doing well, all things considered, but he has yet to have a real breakout game, and I doubt we'll see it here, either. Though I hate this term, the Titans keep managing to win, and that will happen again to keep them within reasonable contention with the Indianapolis Colts. Titans over the fridge Raiders.

Browns (3-3) at Rams (0-7)
The Rams have yet to show any kind of fight to maintain their dignity, and the Browns will enjoy their third consecutive bye-week vs. a team they haven't played since the glory days of Marshal Faulk and Isaac Bruce in 2003. Derek Anderson will have a field day, and the Browns will break .500 with a win.

Eagles (2-4) at Vikings (2-4)
The Vikings defense is good at getting turnovers, but not stopping points. It seems like they go for the ball strip, not the tackle. Every time. Meanwhile, McNabb is giving it the old college try this year, but his teammates don't seem to be. Despite all that, watch for this game to be quite a shootout, but in the end, the Vikings will emerge on top.

Giants (5-2) at Dolphins (0-7)
The Giants are hot on the heels of the Cowboys in the NFC East, while the Dolphins season is essentially over. However, when the Dolphins' season ends, the fun begins. With nothing to worry about, the Dolphins Cam-Cam offense will open up and have some fun in the first-ever overseas NFL regular-season game. With no luck playing on American soil, the Dolphins with have just the change of scenery they need, and so will their record. Dolphins in a game not-to-be-missed.
**UPDATE** It seems Zach Thomas will be out yet again, this time with "whiplash". I don't want to sound like he's what makes or breaks a game, but call this the straw that breaks the very feeble camel's back. Giants in a London-y win.

Steelers (4-2) at Bengals (2-4)
Though I've had distaste for the Steelers this season, their focus WILL return vs. a division rival. The Bengals DO deserve their 2-4 record, and Willie Parker will walk all over the Bengals D. Give this one to the Steelers, hands-down.

Bills (2-4) at Jets (1-6)
The Bills surprised me this week, but don't expect that to happen again. By that, I mean there's no way they'll lose against a team that couldn't muster a second-half offensive effort against the lowly Cincinnati defense. Bills in a stampede.

Texans (3-4) at Chargers (3-3)
The Texans did a good job last week, but the Chargers will take this opportunity against an abysmal defense to show that they're still a powerhouse team. Watch for LT to score a TD pass in addition to his runs, and watch the Chargers fly through this game in a breeze.

Jaguars (4-2) at Buccaneers (4-3)
The Jaguars had a good thing going, but their four-game winning streak hit a brick wall last week, and the further loss of David Garrard will only salt their wound. Watch for the Buccaneers to begin to re-assert themselves, and watch for the Jags to drop their second straight(though Jones-Drew will have another good day).

Redskins (4-2) at Patriots (7-0)
The Redskins seem to have the Patriots number nearly every time they play. The series is 6-1 in the Redskins favor, with the 6 victories being their last 6 matches. However, I severely doubt the Patriots will respect any such streak, and a decisive Patriots victory will leave Joe Gibbs scratching his head.

Saints (2-4) at 49ers (2-4)
Though the teams have the same record, take a closer look: The Saints are on a two-game winning streak, while the 49ers are on a four-game losing streak. Watch for this to be a powerful rushing battle between Gore and Bush, with Alex Smith tossing a few as well for the 49ers. In the end, however, the Saints will want it more. Saints on the road.

Colts (6-0) at Panthers (4-2)
Last week, I went against my better instincts and against the Colts. That was silly. I'm not gonna do that anymore. This will be the first time the Colts have ever beaten the Panthers, but it won't be a pounding. Carolina will keep it close and keep their dignity, but the Colts will put another on in the "V" column.

Packers (5-1) at Denver (3-3)
There are few things more fun than watching Brett Favre on Monday night, and don't expect this to be any different. The Pack is well rested after its bye-week, and Jason Elam's leg won't be enough to cut the cheese. Packers in a Monday night thrill-fest.

There you have it. Mike: You're on. What's at risk, here?

'Till next time.

Monday, October 15, 2007

A desperate bid for ratings.

Due to a severe lack of interest, both on the parts of the viewers and your beloved author, I have decided to add a new feature to this Blog: Weekly picks. Every week, I will be looking at the next week's NFL matchups and choosing who, in my amateur opinion, will be the victors. I am doing this mostly to inspire myself to post at least once a week(as these posts won't JUST be for the picks, but also my own whinings as well).

So, without further (french word), let's see...


Week 7:
Titans(3-2) at Texans(3-3)
The old vs. the new. The Texans are looking to break out of the middle of the pack, and their tendency to keep games close will give them a victory in this one. Texans in a close one.

Ravens(4-2) at Bills(1-4)
The Ravens' amazing defense won't break a sweat vs. JP Losman and company. Ravens take it.
**UPDATE** Trent Edwards will be starting instead of JP Losman this sunday. It will help, but not enough. Stick with the Ravens.

Vikings(2-3) at Cowboys(5-1)
Adrian Peterson is good, but not good enough to win a second game all by himself, especially against a Cowboys team looking to re-assert their strength after an embarassing loss at home. Cowboys by a couple TDs.

Buccaneers(4-2) at Lions(3-2)
Joey Galloway has finally found his niche, and look for him to continue building speed. Buccaneers on the road.

Cardinals(3-3) at Redskins(3-2)
Campbell and co. can do a number when they're on their home turf, even against a Cardinal's offense that can be explosive when it wants to be. Redskins in a squeaker.

49ers(2-3) at Giants(4-2)
Look for Frank Gore to start to look like the RB he was last year. 14 days of rest will have done the 49ers some good, and will show it vs. a Giants' team with only 6 days of rest.

Falcons(1-5) at Saints(1-4)
The Falcons' offense isn't bad, but their porous defense will stop Reggie Bush about as well as meringue stops a needle. Take the Saints at home.

Patriots(6-0) at Dolphins(0-6)
The stage is set. The undefeated Patriots are looking unstoppable. The winless Dolphins are ravaged by injuries.
This is Thunderdome.
The Dolphins have a strange tendency to take down the big teams while being unable to win against the weaker teams. This won't be the first time the Dolphins alone have stood against an unbeaten team, and look for the upset of the century in front of a house full of Dolphins' faithful.

Chiefs(3-3) at Raiders(2-3)
The Chiefs won't let a divisional game slip away from them, especially when it means the difference between #1 and #4. The Raiders stand virtually nothing to gain, and Culpepper will fall against the strongest defense in the division.

Jets(1-5) at Bengals(1-4)
The Jets can't even PRONOUNCE Houshmandzadeh, much less keep him covered. He and Chad Johnson will have their pick of the secondary, as well as their second win of the year.

Bears(2-4) at Eagles(2-3)
Take your pick... two big-talking mediocre teams will duke it out, making eachother look good. Give it to the Eagles.

Rams(0-6) at Seahawks(3-3)
Take it from me: The Rams will be the only team without a win by the end of next weekend. Steven Jackson can't keep his promises, and Shaun Alexander will re-establish himself and show Jackson how it's done. Seahawks in a landslide.

Steelers(4-1) at Broncos(2-3)
The Steelers have been flying under the radar despite a 4-1 record, and for good reason: they're playing sloppy. They stumbled against a Cardinals team that shouldn't have even been in the same LEAGUE as Pittsburg. That said, they WILL find their footing against a Denver defense that's allowing an average of 27 points per game. Steelers for a win.

Colts(5-0) at Jaguars(4-1)
Every fiber of my being says "Colts." "Manning Monday Magic." "Indy-structable." And other clever catch-phrases. But, for some reason, I hereby say "Jaguars." Don't ask me why.

So, there it is. Criticize me all you want: we won't know how bad I REALLY am until next week. 'Till then, I demand at least %10 of your winnings, and take no responsibility for your losses. Good luck!!


Thursday, October 11, 2007

Grounded: The Conclusion.

Now, where was I?

Ah, yes...

So, I'm told I've been stabbed in the back to my face(then I paid through the nose for something that cost an arm and a leg). Apparently, according to my proctor, he didn't tell me I was breaking a rule because he "didn't want to embaress me by publicly reprimanding me."

Yeah. Bull.

So instead, he chose to let me finish breaking the rule, thereby sealing my fate. Next time, embaress me. Douchebag. So anyway, I ask him if I can go talk to Mr. Wurtz about it and just get it cleared up, but no. He's not here on Fridays. And why would he be? Not like it's a weekday, or anything. Surely no one would want an overnight permission form by then, or anything. Nope. *sigh*


I wait my time like a good little boy. Monday rolls around, and I call the proctor to ask him if he's spoken to Wurtz yet, so I know if I have to. Please keep in mind, this proctor said several times that I probably wouldn't have to talk to Wurtz. He said he'd take care of it, and I probably wouldn't get any punishment for it. I asked him if I could go talk to Wurtz WITH him, so we could be perfectly clear, but he was strangely against that idea. "No, no, you probably won't have to talk to him, I'll just tell him what you told me."

Uh-huh. I think I'll never let anyone use the word "probably" with me again.

So, back to the phone call. I ask him if he's spoken to Wurtz yet, and the response is: "Yeah, I just finished talking to him. He still wants to talk to you, just to clear it all up, but I don't think you'll get anything for it. I told him what you told me." I'm no psychologist, but is repeating yourself over and over a sign of honesty?

Whatever. Fine.

So, I go speak to Wurtz. He asks for my side of the story, and I tell it, just as I've told you lot, and just as I told Captain Proctor Man. Wurtz seems somewhat surprised at the "he never told me I was doing anything wrong the whole time I spoke to him" and "he wouldn't have seen me if I hadn't called him over" parts. That interests me, because you HAVE to figure that I should only be punished if I knew I was breaking the law(y'know, like GOD does it?), and you'd THINK I would try to HIDE it if I were TRYING to break the law.


But no, I called him over to have a nice chat. I tell Wurtz that his proctor didn't do his job. At all. Then, Wurtz and I have a nice laugh about it. THEN, he says "Well, ok, here's what I'll do. You're campused for three days, starting tomorrow. Other than for class and meals, you have to stay in your room."

... Thank you, sir, may I have another?

Don't do me any favors, or anything. You're sending me to my room? Are you mental? I finished someone's wine because they asked me to, THEN I TALKED TO A PROCTOR WHILE I DRANK IT, AND NOW YOU'RE PUNISHING ME???
I need a drink...

So, yes. Today is the last day of my "punishment". Damn them for making me stay in my room to eat my food, drink my mountain dew, watch my Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and play my GameCube. I'm fairly certain that's me getting the last laugh, but I'm STILL miffed that they actually had the gall to punish me for something so assinine.

Damn. I have one hour to come up with a paper proposal. ENJOY FALL BREAK, Y'ALL!!!


P.S. - Here's a picture of me posing with St. Francis during the night-which-must-not-be-named:

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


At least, I may as well be.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen: I, a 20 year old SENIOR IN COLLEGE, have been grounded. I must go STRAIGHT back to my room after class and meals, so that I can think about what I did, mister!!

See, here's how it all went down:

Spirit Weeks (or, for our purpose, Spirits Week) is a time for students to really get into their school spirit. To act and dress in a way that says "I support what this college does on a day-to-day basis." Either that, or "I really don't feel like putting on a shirt and tie this week." I think they mean essentially the same thing. Either way, last Thursday was "Dress like your favorite saint day".


So, I rummaged through my closet and came up with the old brown robe, used for Halloween, and the like. Well, I threw that and a pair of sandals on, and voila! I was St. Francis of Assisi. So I go to dinner, sporting my look, and find that, for some reason, they've decided that dinner that night is...

Italian Night 2: Hooray for St. Francis!

Let's forget for a second that it was ST. ANTHONY'S feast day. Let's focus, instead, on the presence of wine at this particular dinner.

Ah, cruel fate.

I did not attempt to sneak any wine. I was, in fact, quite uninterested in the wine. I posed for a few shots with St. Francis, and I went on my way. On the way out the door, I happened upon a friend of mine. For security reasons, his name may be changed. Anyway, Frank said "Joe, I can't finish my wine. Will you do it for me?" And I, being a kind and generous friend, agreed. So I took the half-empty cup of wine, strolled outside to the front of the commons, and sat on the bench there, calmly enjoying my wine. Now, I, like most of you I would imagine, don't care to drink alone very much. So, when I saw one of my favorite proctors walking by (he didn't see me there), I called him over. We had a pleasant chat while I finished my wine, exchanged no words regarding rules, and then, we both went on our way.

Yup. A pleasant afternoon.

The next day, there's a knock on my door. "Joe, I need to talk to you for a minute."

Uhh... ok.

So I step outside, and am greeted with "So, basically, I saw you drinking at the party the other day." My response is: "Uhh.... what?"
"I saw you with alchohol."
"...Ha ha, very funny."
"Yes, it is."


At this point, my mind is trying to figure out WTF he's talking about.

"At Italian night, I saw you with wine."
Umm... yeah, I know. I called you over to talk to you. Because you didn't see me. Douchebag.

Come to find out he's already informed Wurtzy-poo WITHOUT having brought the issue up to me. At all. I explain to him that I was finishing the wine for someone else, and he says "Oh, ok, well, I'll talk to Wurtz. You probably won't get anything for it. Sorry, but I have to do my job."

Wrong again. Douchebag. Your job is to STOP ILLEGAL THINGS FROM HAPPENING, not watch them calmly, then go run and tell Mommy.

I have class. To be continued.